Are we confusing being busy with being effective?

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 Let me start with calling out my epic hypocrisy here. Between building a business, working with multiple clients, writing, a laundry list of creative hobbies, occasionally moonlighting as a supportive and sociable human while trying to take care of mind, body and soul – I am GUILTY of doing the absolute most more often than I would like to admit. 

When I think about it (spin it really) there might be no one better to do a deep dive into doing the most. 

The question comes down to are we really placing our attention where it matters most to us?

First, I want to touch on the definition, the negative impacts, just how our calendars got so booked, and how we might crawl out of the cage of busyness we built for ourselves. 

What does it mean?

‘Doing the Most’ is a popular slang term that I love. Ironically it does the least – three little words that basically mean that you are doing way more than is required. On the positive side, it can mean that you are excelling or pushing yourself to your maximum potential. The reverse can mean that your actions are excessively dramatic, over-the-top, and completely unnecessary. For today, my context is looking at it from the perspective of taking on more than you can realistically handle.

_{Born out of AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and with the internet being what it is, it is now a common term among English speakers.}

How is it affecting us?

Doing the most in the context of commitments, goals, or obligations is something a lot of us are plagued with. We either want to do too much or feel like we have an obligation to do everything that is asked of us. 

For some people, boundless energy to burn, doing a lot is easily manageable. It becomes a problem when you are not able to get it all done, you are exhausted, you are becoming an unreliable menace to those around you, or your overall quality of life is starting to slip. 

Now, busy or hectic seasons exist. Every aspect of life is full of ups and downs. So some things slip here and there, that is normal. But when this is chronic, then there is a real issue at hand. This is because that chronic overwhelm is registering in your body and your relationships and might be causing irreversible damage. 

Think of a phone or computer, if you have too many apps or tabs open at the same time, everything starts to slow down. (My own laptop is currently groaning under the 15 tabs I have open now – my hypocrisy, like my tabs, knows no bounds) But, everything left incomplete or done poorly taxes your brain because it takes up mental space. Even if you’re a superhero and manage to get it all done and done well, but you’re tired and your blood pressure or your cortisol is through the roof, then it is taking a toll. You might be able to dismiss the consequences of doing the most from your mind, your body cannot; it absolutely keeps the score. Despite your best efforts of keeping it all together, if you are running yourself to the point of illness then it might be beneficial to take a step back and assess if this is working for you.

How did we get here?

For some of us (yes, ‘us’) we’re motivated to chase new experiences, so we want to do it all. For others the motivation is that they feel that they have to do everything; not want to, but have to. Every ridiculous ask from friends, family, bosses, co-workers, random person in the street, everyone has to be acted on. There is also a subset of professionals that believe that being booked and busy is a status symbol – an unfortunate vestigial feature of hustle culture. The motivations are worth exploring, but not today. For most of us, we think “one more thing/ yes/ task/ event can’t hurt”. It does. 

How do I get out of here?

So understanding how we got here and how that might be affecting us, the question is what can we even do about it. I am sure that there are a million gurus and chatbots that have different approaches, but I will share with you what I do when it gets to be too much and I can literally do no more because my mind and body are breaking. 

The goal is not to do less, it is to do what matters most. To do what adds most value to yourself and those around you. You cannot do that by agreeing to everything and then figuring it out later. You need to know, before committing to anything, if this is something that you want to do, if you can do it, and if you should or must do it. First, take a look at what is currently on your plate. You want to be able to lay your cards on the table so you can stack the deck how you want. 

Stack The Deck Exercise – Personal

1 – Acknowledge that you need to pause. You cannot solve or avoid any of the issues around your feeling overwhelmed without first acknowledging that you have hit your limit.  

2 – Take a break. You need to catch your breath and reset. The break can be as little as two hours, half a day, or as long as you need to exhale without harming your income or those that are relying on you to live. 

3 – Become ‘No.’ Person (for a while). Add not a single new thing to your plate. 

4 – Communicate with your stakeholders. Let the people you currently ‘owe’ know that you are planning on closing on whatever you had for them. For those that might ask for new things, let them know you would not have the capacity to take on anything new for a while. That is not a lie, you are working on you. 

5 – List everything single you have outstanding. 

6 – Bucket & categorise the tasks based on what makes most logical sense. 

7 – Stack the deck, carve out time, and execute. Assign days and times to complete select buckets or categories. For example, you might want to line up all of your required phone calls to be done in one go. Or, if you might want to set aside a day for running around. 

8 – Decide which buckets to keep (for now). 

If I gave you 15 buckets of water to hold, all at once, you would watch me like I was crazy. So, why on your own, would you pick up 15 buckets of water by yourself? You cannot carry it all, so you have to decide what you must carry and what you want to carry with the two hands you have. Leaving a bucket on the ground does not translate to discarding it, you can always pick it up later. Decide which buckets matter most to you and need to be carried right now. 

In a later post or workbook I might expand on this exercise. But the idea is give you some control over what you have on your plate. It should not feel like you are chasing a bag of marbles down a hill. This exercise is intended to kill that exact feeling. 

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The most effective persons are intentional about how they manage their attention, time, and energy. Even the high energy, high capacity people that can get it all done fully understand their needs and limitations and work within them – they just have more capacity than most. The world is made up of all different types of people. We can’t all run like Usain Bolt.

They know their boundaries, respect them, and are able to make those around them respect them. This might feel uncomfortable and even selfish, but from my observation it means that you are able to become a reliable and stable person for yourself and those around you. 

 For those struggling under the weight of overwhelm, exhaustion, struggling to accomplish your goals, hit your wall or close to it, I want you to breathe and tackle the exercise above. Focus on the final and consider which commitments are moving your life forward and which are just taking up time and energy.