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Know Yourself: Personal
A lot of us prefer to run from ourselves. But, you will be with you, no matter where you go. So, maybe it’s time to stop running.
Getting to know yourself is the start of something great – a relationship with who you really are and who you were meant to be.
Not knowing yourself is as natural as breathing. Did you know that your eyes ‘see’ your nose all day? But your brain decides that this information is just too much, so it edits it out. (Let me pause here while you ‘rediscover’ your nose)
Like our nose, our brains think that who we are is not that important. The brain evolved to pay attention to what’s happening outside of our bodies. It automates most of our physical functions, so you can focus on the external environment… to keep it (the brain) and you (the body) alive.
Mirrors are relatively new in the evolution timeline. Our brains evolved in a time where we didn’t see ourselves; who we were didn’t really matter in a world of lions, tigers, and bears. The concept of ‘self’ was an abstract thought, and only accessible to those that had the luxury of time to let their minds wander.
But, now we are surrounded with reflections of ourselves, with mirrors and cameras everywhere we go… we face ourselves more than ever. For better or worse, we can no longer go through life without thinking about who we are. And, because we also live lives that are relationally focused, we get a barrage of direct or indirect feedback of how we are perceived by others. People always evaluated each other, but now through social media, job evaluations, or just the sharing of feelings becoming common practice… that feedback is loud and direct.
We no longer get to sidestep knowing who we are. Now, we can absolutely do so, but the result is a life unexamined, a self that is stagnated, and potential left to its own devices. Getting to know ourselves is the key to understanding who we are, why we do the things we do, and what we need to overcome to become the persons we dream of being.
It is all well and good to say – know thyself. But how does one even start? There are so many ways to accomplish that. I am going to share a few categories and if you start this journey, explore the various options and determine whichever works best for you based on which aspect you are exploring.
- Analytical – These are the more scientific ones that tell you who you are today. These can range from psychological evaluations to medical testing. Why bother to do these? Because they present the state of you to you. It may be informed by your past choices, but it shows how you are currently looking as it relates to your decision making patterns, how your body is functioning, high-performing areas, and aspects that might be in need of some attention. This can cover things like the Herrman Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI), 7 Intelligences Profile, OCEAN Personality, Myers-Briggs Evaluation, a Personal Strengths Assessment, annual physical, and even a hormone profile.
- Exploratory – I consider these to be the evaluations that show you the blueprint of you. This category is subjective, and might even run into the ‘woo-woo’ category but understanding the foundation of who you are is critical. The objective here is to gain a better understanding of the whys behind some patterns you’ve clung to, and challenges that keep resurfacing in your life. This can include DNA testing and deep-diving into your family history, a numerology profile, even an astrological chart – and I am sure for those inclined to go down this kind of path, the analysis can go even deeper. The driver behind this blueprint exploration is that we all came into this earth with a unique profile based on when we were born and the families we were born into.
- … One word of warning here though, you cannot become obsessed with this kind of exploration or make this your entire personality. That would be like getting the blueprint to your house and then declaring that your window treatments, furniture, and wall colours have to match the blueprint. No blueprint that goes into that level of detail; so you cannot use your personal blueprint to dictate every aspect of your life. All a blueprint does is tell you the parameters for construction. Read the blueprint, then get on with constructing and decorating the home that is your life.
- Reflective – This is where we get even deeper with ourselves and aim to unravel our understanding of the situations we find ourselves in and our responses to them. This is where we start questioning the whys behind almost everything that we do. Through self-inquiry analysis we assess ourselves like we are in a scientific study. This can be further enhanced by using 360o feedback to gather the impartial feedback of those closest to us. I do recommend that this is done with the support of an external party or using a structured approach. The risk here is that you don’t want your biases to cloud objective analysis.
Understanding yourself is not something that we are naturally equipped to do. However, doing that work is usually key to living the best life that we can. Why? Because we know what we want, why we want it, and the best way for us to achieve it.
Working to understand who you are is not a simple exercise, but it is an important one. I can work with you to hold your hand through that work, so that we can start mapping out what the next steps might be to address any gaps or shortcomings you might want to work on.
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